Ramble On By Led Zeppelin

I RAMBLE ON. I know there are incomplete sentences and many errors but that was because I was writing in a rush.

24052013
2.30am < I've got to change this to make it in sync with the date format.
0230

Many thoughts running through my mind. first It's preventing me from sleeping. Internship is by far the hardest phase in my life. Playing soccer under the block back when I was in primary school were the best moments in my life. I wish I had some time to talk to that girl in private to find out what she thinks about me. I'm starting to have this obsession where I start doing things in a fun way from the mundane & this obsession is something like the BBC's Sherlock Holmes 2011. It's the first time I've written my random thoughts on paper. Writing on a paper is beautiful because of the similar size of words grouped together & a similar space that separates them. Why am I anti-social in polytechnic? After selling our house at Woodlands, I've slept at 3 houses in Malaysia & currently one at Outram Park, Singapore. "In a relationship, the one who cares less is more powerful" Ghost of Girlfriend's past. I am the father of my family burdened or blessed with many responsibilities. I walk on the path of light but a rope is grabbing me by my little finger. I want to wear contact lenses and have eyes like Afiqah from Sonic Arts. It's funny how you think that you feel fine about what you recently did but later on regret most of it. Time flies, it fucking flies. On this metal chair I sit, shirtless. If I would be given a superpower, I would like to have full entry into heaven because God is superior in all forms of superpower. I want to celebrate a proper Hari Raya. As she ages, I'll slowly part away from her. The more I write, the more I feel like I'm going to die tomorrow. I love it how a body glides gracefully through the stares at you. You're a certified asshole. My hands aching. I'm going to take a breath. When I'm out of waters & the waters shut out all external noise, leaving you to your deepest thoughts. One of the scariest things about technology is that. Pearl Jam's song best expresses my emotions. When we cry, we are real. I do not want the Malay's to be lazy. Nasi goreng paprik at Al-Ameen is my favourite food. I need to be rich, fucking rich. I need to achieve the 7Fs in my life & they are faith, family, friends, fun, fortune, fuck & fortune. Everybody is dirty it's just a matter of who constantly clean themselves to hide the dirt. The birds are chirping & the wind is blowing but up ahead, a wolf  space to write on this paper, I'll read this over again. My tongue did not use to curse but my ears heard many, my brain translated it into unnecessary but my tongue followed other tongues. Cook woman, Cook! More than 15 lines to go, man this is tiring. I want to be loved. I need to be loved. " That's me in the corner, losing my religion" - R.E.M. Faris bin Rasid is one of the purest friend I. have. As I run my fingers across her face, staring deeply into her eyes &lay a gentle kiss on her lips not of passion, but of tenderness. Sometimes in order to learn how to run, we do not need to walk first, we just run. The horse gallops into the thick forest, never to be seen again. Out of my mind, I'm out of my mind. Closed my eyes & I maintained my sanity. The rich get richer & the poor get poorer because of the middle income. It's not about wether the glass is half-empty of half-full, it's about knowing about the presence & importance of the glass as it holds the water in absolute stability. Adaptability, a fundamental survival skill. I want to start a family of my own so that I can experience that joy that I've never felt. I am sad. I love my sister very much & I wish she never push me away when I hug her. I hope my brother opens his eyes & be stronger. I want my father & my other brother back. Watch the television together, eat together, play together & pray together. I guess emotions take over you after wrting so much rubbish.

Muhammad Nur Shah, (Signature) 0330

Forever By Kiss

After a period of absence, writing calls me. Today I'll touch on the subject of success. Let's dive right into that subject now. I went Youtube some weeks ago and typed in "why are Jews successful" in the search bar. I clicked on a video and enjoyed watching though it did not explain why they are successful. I have made some changes to what the video said to make it more concise though the content has been changed to some extent.

The video explained that success is something that is internal, inclusive, immortal & immediate. Internal is something that comes from within you which means that you can achieve it by doing it yourself & this will let everybody know that you are successful because of you alone. Inclusive is something that everybody can attain which means that people of differing abilities & background can achieve it & I love this point because life is unfair and some people start off with certain advantages but with the idea of something that is inclusive, it places all men on a level ground & the one who reaches the stars first is the ultimate one.Immortal means that it will stand the test of time even when the world is changing drastically so this means one who reaches the stars will forever be successful and there won't be anybody that'll erase or modify this title. Immediate is something that you can do immediately without the help of any resources which implies that you can start reaching for the stars right now even though you have nothing.

Generally everybody agrees that a successful person is somebody who is wise, powerful, respected &/or rich. Well surprisingly, the Jews also agree on this but they have a different opinion on what each of this four success factors means to them.

There a several ways to measure a person's intelligence. These includes being book smart, street smart, common sense, training and/or experience. If wisdom was measured this way, then someone who know how to farm but doesn't know how to use the internet will suffer in an internet savvy country which then means that one is smart here might not be smart there. However the Jews say that one who is wise is one who learn from each other. This is because it is internal, inclusive, immortal & immediate & you can roughly know why. So the farmer can know be an internet user by asking for help.

Someone who is powerful is someone who holds a high position and has a certain monopoly over a certain resource, for example a boss & his workers. Not everybody can attain it because positions requires some sort of payment and not everybody has that kind of resource & in times of war, your workers will ignore you and take care of themselves as such, this "power" is not immortal. Instead the video tells us that one who is powerful is one who overcomes his ego. I do not like  point because egoism is just one point of the many points that makes a person bad. Instead I am going say that one who is powerful is one who overcomes his weaknesses & strengthens his strengths. Isn't that better? This is because not everyone is egoistic but everybody has strengths and weaknesses & the 4Is coincide with my point.

One who is respected is not someone who does a remarkable feat and people respect him because of that achievement. One who is respected is one who respects other. I think this is because the average joe doesn't usually feel respected and so when he is respected, the best way for him to pay it back is by respecting that person. Respecting is giving praises to the people who have helped you without them realising that you have given them the praises. Surely this matches the 4Is checklist.

I really loved how the video defined someone who is rich. Someone who is rich is someone who appreciates what he has and not somebody who has lots of cash. I have some rich friends in my
school and I get jealous of them but it makes me angry when they take those things for granted. See when you appreciate what you have, you learn the real value of the things that you have, in turn, making you happier & not making you greedy. This idea of appreciation matches the 4Is checklist. What's my definition of success? It is wealth because it can buy you everything. It can buy time & the example is driving a car saves you time compared to public transport. It can buy you love & the example is most woman are attracted to rich guys and I'mot generalizing  but it is because it shows how much the male can provide for the offspring. It can buy you religion & the example is just hiring a private religious teacher & buying religious books. Although I have some appreciation of the things I have, I still want more because I am  FOREVER greedy and always dream of becoming filthy rich.

Now here's the twist to the story. Islam's definition of success is someone who avoids hell and enters paradise. That's sweet, simple & straight to the point but there are many factors to
determine who goes to heaven and who goes to hell however there are 4 main factors that you should take note of and they are having faith, doing righteous deeds, teach people the truth & teach them patience & constancy. I wish that I would put this definition of success ahead of my quest to becoming rich because although money can buy everything, it can also easily destroy everything as money also buys the devil.

Holiday By Scorpions

I have plans for these holidays after exams just ended to keep myself busy and also because I do not want to regret wasting my holidays when school starts again. Well good news, my holidays are already wasted. Holidays were wasted mostly because of it from external circumstances, some from my mother and some from me. Well I’ll give you things that I came up with that I had to do during the holidays before the sacred HOLIDAY starts.

For personal things there are things like being religious, BlogSpot, GMR Union, dream house, drawing, Tamiya, transfer contacts to contact list, exercise, Transformation, set up own website. Well of all these, I only managed to transfer my contacts onto my laptop, sketch of my dream house & also writing some rubbish on my blog. Let’s see I have been fighting many times with my mother many times and who can be religious when they’re angry? Well okay being religious was entirely my fault. My house is messy because still just moved in and so I do not have the mood or creative spark to add ideas to GMR Union and GMR Union is basically my future band’s name which also the parent company of other smaller companies. I think I’m not rich yet to indulge in Tamiya though I worry that it might be extinct in Singapore. You can blame for my addiction for failure in exercise. There’s still plenty of time for transformation and transformation is basically a big make over for me. I have no internet at home, so no mood to learn how to set up own website.

For Sonic Arts which is the course I’m taking by the way, read all resources, combine musictheory.net, music theory & keyboard skills & music theory & practise to one PowerPoint, ask friends for advance modules 6ps were the only things. I nearly completed the compilation of the PowerPoint slides. I think asking friends in for advance module 6ps is hopeless because they’re not organized and reading all the resources is a mammoth task.

For music there’s ITunes, finish music theory workbook, re-download music, but no internet as usual.

For bass there’s Dmanlamius & Marlowedk, both of whom are bass players, play famous songs, read my book on beginning bass guitar & enrol in trinity rock/ thunder rock if it’s worth it. Let’s see again, house is messy and no internet and definitely no time for bass classes.

For computer games there’s GTA, Shogun 2, Rise of Nations, Age of Mythology, WarCraft, StarCraft, Football Manager, DOTA 2, Age of Empires Campaign, Napoleon Total War, Red Alert 2. I need a better computer to play GTA, Rise of Nations, Dota 2 & Napoleon Total War. I have spent so much of my wasted time of Dota 1 and I just keep playing because it’s addictive, to avoid doing housework & to also forget about my anger. I should have played Football Manager though since it’s already installed in my laptop but I guess now it’s too late because I might get hooked onto the game but school is around the corner. I was not able to play the other games because have not yet been downloaded.

I have also to play Pokémon but I do not want to continue the game until I’ve had another Nintendo DS or someone who would lend one to me.

For programmes there’s Code Geass, Adeu’s Legend, Guilty Crown, Kitchen Nightmares, Rocky Balboa, Starwars all of which were not downloaded. Titanic & Forrest Gump were the only movies that I’ve watched during the holidays both of which were awesome.  Well I’ve just downloaded about three movies in about 2 hours which is very fast considering I’m using the coffee shop’s WIFI. Those three movies are Pursuit of happiness, The Avengers & the Cabin in the Woods.  As I look through my collection of downloaded movies, I realize I do not have a favourite genre though of course romance is something I do not like very much, but if the movie is good, then I’ll watch romance.

For books there are books by Bernard Cornwell, A Tale of Two Cities, The Little Prince, And Then There Were None, Count of Monte Cristo, books by Robert Kiyosaki, Think & Grow Rich. All of which I couldn’t no do because there’s no libraries around my area or in Malaysia for that matter.

And lastly for computer there’s re-organize applications, screen saver, upgrading websites, pictures.  I think I’m not going to do any of those until I’ve bought a hard drive though upgrading websites could have been done if there’s internet.

Wow, what a super wasted holiday. Bloody hell.

Seize The Day By Avenged Sevenfgold

I am a jack of all trades, master of none. Now let’s see, I started playing soccer when I was 9 years old and table tennis caught on a few months later. I later picked up rugby when I was 12 after that was newly introduced to my school. Oh wait, did I also mention that I started to learn swimming at 7 years old. To top that off, I was in the best class and attended religious school. Now comes the sad part, the master of none part, I know how to play rugby but I do not know the rules & I only played for less than 5 months because I fractured my left knee or torn ligament in my left knee. How about Table tennis? Well anyone who takes up a month of classes of table tennis can beat me in a match. Okay then, religious school? I don’t know how to read or speak Arabic or Jawi. You can blame me, the school education system and my parents for that. Lastly I got a Primary School Leaving Examination aggregate of 216 which is one of the lowest coming from the smartest class. The only thing that I could consider myself master is soccer. I love soccer though I do not follow any soccer leagues. It was those days of playing soccer from 3pm to 6.30pm during weekends under the HDB (Housing Development Board) flats that developed my skills & made me fell in love with soccer.

Now moving onto secondary school, I could not get into soccer because my knee has not healed yet or any uniform group for that matter. I got myself into information & communications club. That investment I made in that club was a waste. Luckily though in secondary school, I did not pick up anything else.

After my O levels have ended I picked up the bass guitar for several reasons. I then developed an interest in board, card games & also computer games during the school holidays. I joined Diploma in Sonic Arts in Republic Polytechnic which is a course about music and sound. I was being stupid and joined business club after a year where I learned nothing new about business. Time for evaluation, I suck at bass guitar, I don’t know my board & card games & computer games skills because I have not competed against professionals but I think I’d suck in the field of computer games. I can say that I am a master in sound and music and this is my biggest master and so I shall SEIZE THE DAY WITH this!

And so in the future, I plan to be more stupid and expand my “jack of all trades master of none” within myself. I am going to take up a Photoshop class as an elective module. I actually intended to take up drawing but I don’t like deadlines for that and what Republic Polytechnic has taught me is that information is easily available online and so I guess it’d be harder to learn Photoshop online. I am also learning how to drive and if my finances allow me, I am going to have fun with tamiyas. Tamiyas are battery operated cars which only moves forward. Also just like any other guys, I’ll be playing some computer games. The only thing I see becoming a master of is Photoshop, other than that, no.

Why By Rascal Flatts

Well, I wrote this for my school’s reflection journal and a reflection journal is basically a question the teacher asks us online and we must answer it, that’s what a reflection journal means basically.

The aspects of managing arts venue include the artwork itself, research, venue, marketing, sponsorship & interior design. Of these aspects, I would say that marketing is the most important aspect in most visual arts exhibition. The main reason is because the artwork will still be an artwork if the other aspects are not present though of lower quality & most of the other aspects depend on marketing.

The aspect of artwork itself includes things such as the type of artwork, freights, condition report, loan contract & insurance. Now, if the artwork isn’t there, and when I mean that the artwork isn’t there, I do not mean that there is not artwork at all. What I mean is that the type of artwork is not considered, no insurance and such. So, if there’s no artwork, it’ll still be able to be put on display but just taking a bigger a risk with no insurance and all & the quality is compromised. Though one might argue that international artwork will greatly dampen the arts scene here, because there is no freight, we always have our local artist.
Research, one of the lesser known aspects is an important aspect. This is because it gives you all the information you need about the artwork & the artist. This heightens the quality of the exhibition because when you know you’re product well, selling it becomes subconscious behavior. Now if research isn’t there, same thing, quality of artwork is compromised.

Venue is the next aspect to be covered here. The main thing a strategic venue does is that it basically ensures a large audience. So if the venue sucks, before even reaching the venue, you’ll already feel negative because of complicated directions, traffic jams and so on & this negative emotion will hinder you from what the artist intends you to feel as art is a platform to incite emotions. So, if venue isn’t there, your artwork quality won’t be compromised, but their experience will be.

Marketing! We’ve reached that aspect at last! Now when there’s marketing, there are people, when there are people, there’s money, when there’s money, and you can basically cover all the aspects mentioned in this reflection journal. It’s that simple. Basically, from what I see, money is the fuel for progress be it the arts or other areas. What makes it worse is that art will always remain a luxury even if you like it or not & this means your target audience is usually restricted. So, when there’s no marketing, you can expect yourself to be running a non-profit exhibition or even an exhibition that can’t support itself financially.

Now moving onto sponsorship, intellectuals will say that sponsorship also brings in money and so that aspect should be more or equally important but I stand on the grounds of disagreement. This is because when sponsors sponsor, they expect something in return such as brand awareness, driving sales and such. So, in order for them to do that, they’ll need people. Where then do this people come from? Do they magically appear from the sky? No. They come from the extensive marketing. So if there’s no sponsorship, the exhibition can still run by itself but it will not sustain itself as such, I would say that sponsorship is the second most important aspect.

Education & outreach is important though I would consider it one of the least important aspects. It is important because it enables us to understand the arts better & develop a sense of appreciation for the arts. So, if there’s no education & outreach, the audience experience will be compromised.
You’ll be spending all your time in the exhibition during your visit and this is WHYthe interior design is important. Interior design includes the layout, be it chronological or what have you, lightings & some catalogue & wall text. I’ve went to a museum for Creative Concepts module & I eavesdropped on a tour guide & that enriched my experience over there because now you know more about the relation between the artist and the artwork. So, is there isn’t interior design, your experience would be compromised.

If I am not forced to choose which the most important aspect is, I would say that all of them are important as all the above mentioned aspects are designed to be in synergy as they are closely related to one another. A balance of all these aspect is absolute important. Imagine this, since I’ve said marketing is important & you’ve done your extensive marketing but too many people turn up and due to that, your venue can’t support that amount of people and their experience is downgraded. Before I end off, the above mentioned aspects are just general and different situations require different priotization of aspects. Example is, your sponsor is also helping your marketing, as such, marketing is now not the most important priority.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life By Monty Phyton

Thursday 21^st of June 2012 is one those fucking unlucky days that make you feel like shit. I don’t usually use vulgar words, but fuck Thursday. Well, we must ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE no matter how bad it is. So let’s try to look on the bright side to make this post a little more interesting.

Ever since my family has moved temporarily to Johor, life has been so much harder. I woke up feeling sleepy and tired, just like most of any other days. Good thing though the Malaysian public bus was not late. I bought packet rice with sambal chicken and had enough time to eat it before class started which was a good thing also. Class was fun and that was it for the morning.

I later met my friend at Orchard and she passed me the nail polish which I bought for about 3 dollars per bottle & I can sell it for about 8 to 12 dollars during one of those RP bazaars. She came about 5 minutes late but there was still time for my understanding test for music composition. I later went to eat a plate of mee soto. I added some chili and it wasn’t spicy at first but was super bloody spicy later on. I wanted to drink some water from my bottle but it was near empty because I forgot to refill it at RP. My whole face was sweating & I felt like I was losing my voice. It was definitely the spiciest thing I’ve ever ate. I bought a can of root beer to cool myself down.

I then proceeded to National Skin Care Centre to get my viral wart treated & I was 8 minutes behind schedule. Ok, so here’s where things start to get fucked up. I waited for 50 minutes to get treated which was atrocious. It was already 4pm and I was supposed to pass him the nail polish & lend him 80 dollarsSo I left even though the nurse would treat me after another 2 more minutes. I still do not know why I stayed there for so long. Took a train back to Woodlands from Novena & I slept on the train floor. I woke up & realized that I took the wrong train, so I alighted at City Hall & took a taxi. I stepped off the taxi and then sprinted all the way to my class and my leg felt pain because of the buildup off lactic acid.

The test was hard because what nothing in the test was what we studied at class or in any of the resources our teachers gave us. I wasted 20 dollars for that stupid test! To make things more fucked up, I spent 10 minutes doing the test and the rest in the toilet enjoying my diarrhea.  You know when people say don’t give up, well, I should have given up and just stayed to get my viral wart treated. Now my appointment is changed and I have to get my viral wart treated this coming Monday at 8.30am. The test ended and I was still in the toilet indulging my diarrhea. Note the sarcasm though. Let’s look at the bright side though, since the test was hard, even if I did study for the test which I didn’t, if was punctual for the test & if I had no diarrhea, I’ll still get F. As I got back to class to submit my test, some of my fucking classmates pissed me because they thought that because of me, they had to wait for before they could get dismissed. Fuck them.

I think I went to the toilet for 3 or 4 times. As I was making a product in the toilet, some immature dick knocked on door room that I was in, laughed & ran away. I realized that I had lost my laptop charger. I think I left my laptop charger at the synthesis lab which turned out to be true & I later got it back the next day. As my laptop was low on battery, I had to use the laptop at One Stop Centre. I experimented and realized that their laptop charger matched my laptop and so I switched on my laptop & charged it.

I was exhausted but I still had to take the letters from my sold house. I indulged myself in a cup of caramel frappe at MacDonald to cheer my lousy mood up. I then had to walk all the way to Muhaimin’s house to recuperate for my over expenditure thanks to my stupid taxi ride. I reached home & slept. I switched on my alarm for the Czech Republic versus Portugal Euro 2012 match at Malaysia Macdonald. The alarm did ring but I switched it off as I was too tired. Looking on the bright side though, the score was a dismal Portugal 1, Czech Republic nil, which showed that it was a boring match. The next day was Germany versus Greece which was a much interesting match and ended in a Germany win, 4 – 0.

Woman By Scorpions

Here are my sweet and bitter memories of childhood memories back when I was in kindergarten. I attended An-Nur Kindergarten when I was 5 years and was there for 2 years. An-Nur Kindergarten was in An-Nur Mosque. It was a different kind of kindergarten because it was not government aided and lessons were infused with knowledge of Islam. I can’t remember if we were thought to pray but we were thought the basics Arabic alphabets and some prayers such as before eating.

I remember that as we queued up to go back home, somebody shit in his pants and it was very smelly.

I remember having a girlfriend back then and we would crawl on the floor together when the class was throwing things at each other. Her name is Shafiqah and she entered Si Ling Primary School which will later be the primary school I enter when I was 8 years old. We were together in primary school though. When I was in secondary school, I saw her at a restaurant called Al-Ameen and I was surprised because she was a WOMAN with dangerous curves. Last year, I saw her walking under my block with her gorgeous friend. We exchanged a few words and I regretted not asking for her number or at least her Facebook, not to be together, but to simply chat.

I remember leaving my slippers behind when I wanted to board the private bus home. The bus did not wait for me because i was searching for my slippers at an area where they couldn’t see me. I could not find it because I forgotten that I did not leave it at my usual spot. I found my slippers finally and in desperation, I went to a nearby tunnel which would bring me to the next stop the private bus would stop. Cool, calm & collected, I flagged down the bus and got home safely. The bus assistant told me that next time I should have waited at the mosque because it would go there again later to pick up the next batch of students. As I’m writing now, I’m smiling to myself because I am proud of taking that risk.

I remember that when a boy in the private bus wants to pee badly, the bus has to stop and the bus assistant would bring the boy to a tree and he would pee there. I think this is also the same for girls.’

I remember playing truant in school. When the assembly bell rang, I would wait in the toilet until all of them have gone to their classes. Some adults in the toilet would stare at me, but I would just ignore him. I can’t remember what I did with the free time I had. When classes ended, I would sneak back to the bus. I was surprised that all the students kept their mouth shut. My truancy ended when my brother told the teacher of me. It was fun while it lasted.

I remember the teacher/s giving a boy some chili padi because he could not answer a very simple question. It’s a bitter memory because the teacher brought the kid to our class and we were forced to watch and also because they punished him for his stupidity too much.

I remember there was a very small playground at the back of the mosque and now it’s gone. Sadly, I think we weren’t allowed to play there because it was only for the pre-kindergarten students.

I remember being the first group to complete a puzzle. I remember it because I found out that an easy way to solve puzzles was to do the corners, sides & then the rest.

I remember the teacher praising me to my mother for doing a Mathematics problem sum with ease. I swear it was as easy as 1+1=2.

I remember painting my nails black and embarrassingly, it was on picture taking day for graduation. I still have that embarrassing picture. From there, I see that it was since that age that I love the colour black.

I remember there was this toilet where a female lady would assist you in your peeing mission. I did not go there because I do not need assistance, shy of getting assistance and the door was open, so anybody passing by, could see the alliance. I think I was one of the few that urinated in the adult toilet and I did not urinate in the cubicle because I like my privacy and until now, I still do. If there’s nobody in the toilet, the rooms are full, I’m lazy or I need to urinate badly, only then do I use the cubicle.

The canteen was cute because there were this small tables and small chairs. I always prayed that cereal with milk was given because that was the most delicious on the menu.

I remember some of my classmates. This includes Istighfar, Fadil, Ashraff & one of Faris’ friends. I remember Istighfar because my neighbor& good friend, Solihin introduced me to him and I did not know that Istighfar was my neighbor. I remember Fadil because my mother made friends with his mother and then I realized that we were from the same kindergarten. The relationship later ended when I said “pepek” which is Malay for vagina in his house. He taught me this word but sadly, his sister told their mother. My mother and his mother then fought and they are not on shaking hands till today. Whenever we would pass each other, we would exchange impassive faces. I remember because we went to the same primary school and secondary school. I remember one of Faris’ friends because his face never changes. Faris and his friend doesn’t know this and Muhaimin, if you’re reading this, please remind me of this. I also remember one of my classmates because his face never changes and we went to the same religious school, Madrasah An-Nur but I never talked to him before.