Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top

I am ugly. I can see that. I choose to be ugly. I am not weird. I can choose to be handsome when I whenever I wish to. It’s just that I do not see being handsome bringing more benefit than being ugly.

Firstly I have not cut my hair short but just making it thin since O levels. The main reason for this is because I want to have the rocker image where long hair is a subconscious amplification influence when you play your music to your fanatics.  Other minor reasons include saving money and time from going to barbers. I know I look very handsome with short hair and I want to try a K-pop hairstyle to get the girls, but I do not crave for attention. Negatives of keeping a long hair are that it blocks your eyes, looks untidy if you do not straighten it and if it’s not straightened, you need to tie it up or use a headband. Adding on, you can’t experiment with hair gels, because it’ll just look the same unless you’re using it to have that shine effect. Two reasons as to why I may be considering of cutting my hair is because it takes a long time for it to grow very long and my hair is curly. For 2 years it has yet to reach shoulder length. I do not have the money to straighten my hair and so it looks kind of ugly.

Now on to the matter of facial and pubic hair, I do not shave everywhere. I have a thin moustache, not much pubic hair on my armpits, little pubic hair below the belly button and the one at the penis is confidential. Reasons for me not shaving is once again saving money and energy and I am not sure that if you shave, will it grow back longer.  I have tested this by cutting away the hair on the biggest toe on my right feet and the hair definitely grew longer. If I have a beard and a moustache I would not shave the beard but I would trim the moustache because these are the footsteps of the Islam prophets.

Moving on to body odor, I have a body odor that smells like sweaty Indians mixed with onions and strangely, I love that smell. The odor only comes when I’m at home apparently when the weather is very humid. If I go out and do some sports or sweat like a leaking tap, the odor does not enters the air. I use deodorant to not make myself smell bad but not to make myself smell good. Recently, I have bought an alcohol free perfume to make myself smell good. The perfume contains ethanol, which scientifically, is also considered alcohol. I also wanted to use the perfume at home because my mother complains of my body odor but I do not wear a shirt at home so I actually never use it at home. Here’s an interesting fact, aftershave is the smell that attracts the opposite sex and here’s the video link to prove it though I do not believe it because only one guinea pig was there, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSZajwsq1mM.

Take a look into my closet, and you’ll find many black shirts and some white male tank tops. The tank tops are to be worn at home because my mother does not want me to be shirtless at home but let’s face, Singapore is damn humid. Pity those girls with extra clothing. I wear any shirt to school but of course, when it comes to special occasion, I become a little choosier. I share shirts with my brother and sometime he does not like it, but I do not care because he uses a lot of my things like my internet, xbox, and bicycle. The usual reason as to why I wear boring clothes, which are financial constraints.

Well, even if I am King Midas, I would dress like an average Joe. I guess my reason for this is because people will want to be friends with you because you’re rich or good-looking. Adding on, I would know that it is but my inside that I get my friends and hopefully a wife and these people will stick through the thick and thin with me. So as of now, this ugly poor man will one day be rich and simply a SHARP DRESSED MAN but those who have mistreated him will simply be ignored.