The Unnamed Feeling By Metallica

The purpose of this writing is to tell myself to wake up. It has been 3 months since I have completed national service. During those 2 years, I always wondered what I could have done with that 2 years instead and I wrote a long to-do list after ORD. 3 months have passed and looking back I did good but I could have done so much better.

The 3 major goals in my life are simple. They are music, investment & Islam. I want to be a world famous musician as a vocalist & bassist. The thing that is stopping me right now is that it’s hard to sing and play bass together; the bands that I am in are progressing very slowly because they are schooling and also working and as such, weekends are our only free time. And as such, I bought an acoustic guitar & an electric so that I could write my own songs. Life has taught me not to depend on people and so it is paramount that I write my own songs since I am free 24/7. And then we arrive at another problem. I need to learn how to play acoustic guitar which I have not been doing so well in as I am unmotivated and lazy. I am in this band Carnage and I wish I can quit that band; however I have little hope in them. That band has no direction and we’re slow in composing our songs. Barren Wasteland however has direction and that’s great.

I need to work so that I have money to invest in. That is the excuse I give myself because you don’t need money to research companies and learn more about investments. I have gained a 4% profit for investing in Lippo Malls and I am happy however my other stock Raffles Medical is not doing so well. What I always wanted to do is to write down the basic details of Lippo Malls, Raffles Medical and Hongkong Land as I own them however I am just plain lazy. Next would be to research stocks that I have shortlisted based on my criteria. Then when I’m working, I would slowly buy those stocks. People collect stamps, guitars, books but I collect stocks.

I don’t know where to start for Islam. I only did my Friday prayers and that’s about it. I wanted to watch videos on Youtube to inspire me but that has never happened. Maybe the plague destroyed my motivation. I tried learning Arabic online but gave up. I can’t believe I am lazy to pray at home also. I am slowly drifting away.

Then there’s the general work that needs to be done. We’ve just shifted house and there’s a lot of never ending nonsense to be done. I also have my basic admin work to be done some of which include exercising, paying bills, helping family members and also indulging myself in light entertainment such as gaming and watching movies. However though, this light entertainment has become somewhat heavy. I also want to quit hearthstone as they have this daily quest that makes me glued to the game and I am angry with myself for this because I just can’t seem to quit something so simple. Maybe I should write down the time I spent doing each task daily to see where my time flies. Sometimes what stops me from being efficient is my mom calling me every hour or so to help her with something. I also waste my time looking at things on carousell, drifting in 9gag and facebook & also being consumed by THE UNNAMED FEELING.

Now I really don’t know what to do to improve myself. Should I get a driving license? Should I work full-time or part-time? Should I continue learning the acoustic guitar via Youtube videos or electric guitar via rocksmith? Should I improve bass by scottsbasslessons, rocksmith or youtube videos? How do I start pursuing Islam? How do I start researching investments? What are somethings that I have to do that actually doesn’t need to be done?