I Have A Dream By ABBA

Since its 5 days past my birthday, why not write something about Nur Shah? I know Amirah Izalia wanted me write more posts about myself. Wow, this post is 1200 words long; I guess this is the longest post.

My father says that I am forgiving, respectable, gentle, superior, ambitious, magnetic, cautious, constant, conservative, duty, anti-social, dependent, stingy, stiff, clumsy, loneliness, self-doubt, uneasiness, criticism, heroism, morality, peace-keeping, tolerance, not alert, sensitive, does not hide feelings, listen to mother most, loves & reserves order, unique, mysterious, wants the real things out of life, excellent cook, likes detail, attracted to luxuries, doesn’t look for comfort, clever at buying, good at being an inspector, businessman & banker By the way, I think he wrote this on a piece of paper back when I was smaller.

This is what I have to say because I know myself better than he knows me. I am forgiving to a moderate extent. I don’t know much about respectability because I don’t know how people view me but my close friends do respect me. I am not at all gentle. I tend to be rough with my things and I tend to over pressure myself and not take safety precautions when I exercise.

I can’t say much about my superiority because that is a very large topic and it depends who you are comparing yourself with. However, I think that I am superior because there’s a quote that says “smart people discuss ideas, normal people discuss people and stupid people discuss people” and from this, I know that I am superior because ideas are always in my head, sometime making it difficult for me to sleep and more than half of my blog is about ideas and even my Facebook posts. I know this sounds like I am showing off, but look at it this way, if I am only to talk about the negative side of me, that makes me a pessimist but neither do I want to make this post to portray me as a saint, as such, some the next few characteristics will be negative.

I am ambitious, very ambitious. If you add ambitions to ambitions and multiply that by ambitions, you’ll get Nur Shah. I HAVE A DREAM of becoming a world class musician, much to the likes of Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Bon Jovi, and the Beatles and so on. At least a 100 million album sales will be my target.  I’ve even drawn my dream house, but it’s still not perfect and not to scale. From there, I would like to set up small companies which are being parented by GMR UNION which is the name of my future band. Enough of ambitions, let’s move on.

I am magnetic because some think I am weird but also because I present myself with confidence and charisma. I don’t why my father said I am cautious and not alert, but regardless, I know that I am both because whenever I enter a new place, I would look out for the tiniest detail but when I am in the same place for many times, I tend to not pay attention to my surrounding. My life before entering Polytechnic was not constant because results were like a rollercoaster however in Polytechnic, my grades are slowly decreasing. I am conservative when it comes to religion but I am open almost about everything else. I stick to my duty as I can see from working at the zoo and also being a soccer defender for my primary school team, too bad though, I’ve got no duties at the moment.

I agree that I am anti-social one the reasons being that I do not like to sacrifice for friends. Obviously I am not dependent, I am very independent and one of the reason is  that I learn everything on my own and I also do my own research when in doubt. I am stingy when it comes to sharing food with my friend or giving donations and money to friend. However though, I willingly lend my friends if they need it and I also share things if the quality or the quantity of the product does not decrease such as my sister playing my Nintendo DS. I am stiff but I am learning how to be flexible and sensitive to other people’s needs. I agree that I am clumsy.

I feel lonely almost every single day because I am anti-social, do not mix much with my family members and also because I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I usually self-doubt when it comes to making decisions. I always have this feeling of uneasiness because my mind is never at peace. I always criticize people, ideas and even myself and that also explains why I am doubtful. After watching many heroic movies, ranging from medieval warfare to Napoleonic Wars to World War 2 to Lord Of The Rings, it inspires me to be a hero. I have done many sinful things in life but I am moral because people in my shoes would have evolved and do more extreme sins however I do not.

I am not peace-keeping because I only support the side that is ethically correct and I am not interested in gaining another person’s acceptance. I am a very tolerant person, throw everything at me and I’ll still be standing on both of my feet. This is because I like to have this idea where I’ll have the last laugh and also because I’ve tolerated much worse things in my life before. I’d say that I am sensitive but I do not show it because I keep everything to myself, be it feelings and emotions. From this, you’ll know that it contradicts what my father said which is that I do not hide my feelings.

Of my siblings, my father says I listen to my mother most, I do not know if I should agree or disagree. Firstly, my sister sleeps beside her, so she should have listened the most to her, but then again, I am very interested in her untold childhood. Loves and reserves order? Not really because I like some flexibility. I am very unique in a positive way and I am mysterious during my childhood days but now no more secretive.  I definitely want the real thing out of life such as being religious, having many cars, a dream house and also receiving passive income. I like to cook on my own and so far the food I’ve cooked is between average and delicious. I love being detailed and paying attention to it and I am definitely attracted to luxuries.

I do look for comfort because I’ll wear something ugly because it’s comfortable. I agree that I am clever at buying because I check other stores, differentiate my needs and wants and also have my own ifs situations thought of. From what my father had said about the jobs I am good at, I agree that I am good at those because it matches my characteristics but I do not think I have the passion and passion is the most important thing when it comes to selecting a job. Thus, musician is my choice.